just some angry thoughts...

I did not really know what to blog about this week and I am trying to get my homework done while I am really angry and it is really hard to blog when you are mad. All of the blogs I try to comment on I end up wanting to say really mean things and I do not want to come across as a bitch so I am not commenting on anything until I am in a better mood but this makes it hard to get homework done. However, I can post my new blog and at least get that out of the way. :) So anyway I am angry tonight because of my daughter's grandparents. I had to take my daughter to their house last night because I was going out of town for the night and they knew that I would not be back until later on today but they know that I am always ready to see her after being away from her for any amount of time. So I got home this evening around 7 and went to pick her up but when I got there the house was dark and all of the vehicles were gone. So now I have not seen my daughter in over 24 hours and I am starting to freak and I have no idea where she is. If they were going to take her somewhere they could have at least let me know right?! So after calling and texting multiple times and getting no response I finally recieve a text saying, "we are in sparta I will let you know when we are almost to your house". It really aggrivated me the way that it was worded maybe just because I was already upset about not knowing where my daughter was but reguardless I felt they could have been a little more considerate. I did not respond because I did not want to start any big fight but I am really mad and want to see my daughter right now! I came through Sparta and could have picked her up on my way through and she could be home with me right now.

Time for the holidays..

It is amazing to me how October was so laid back and easy to handle and now we are already in Novemer, even in the first weeks I have been so busy! It seems like every appointment I have made all year has ended up in November. School is getting more intense for the end of the semester and dealing with a sick one year old on top of everything does not make things any easier. It is time to start thinking about the holidays and plan for them Thanksgiving is right around the corner and I can not believe it! Then immediately after that it is time to start thinking about Christmas. The baby is 18 months old this month so that means it is time to do pictures again which works out perfect because they make great Christmas gifts or go in Christmas cards. Christmas is always fun when kids are involved. It may be a little more crazy and demanding but it is so fun. I am looking forward to finding a cute Christmas dress or outfit and we have already started Christmas shopping so she should have a good Christmas this year. The only problem is that I can not seem to wait until Christmas to give stuff to her I have given her almost all of her presents early already so I am going to have to store them at someone elses house I think. I am excited and ready for the holidays though.

The end of Halloween fun

Well the baby is doing better thankfully. She was teething but that first night was the worst of it she has not acted like she is in pain anymore from teething and her fever broke the next day and she was left with only the cold symptoms. She was down to just a runny nose as of about Thursday. I was glad she was feeling better because we took her trick or treating in Chester on Saturday. She was Minnie Mouse, she was so adorable and she loved her costume. Everytime she tried it on for someone she squealed and ran around waiting for everyone to tell her how cute she looked, she is very silly like that. Trick-or-treating was a lot of fun and I enjoyed watching her face light up when everyone gave her candy and told her how cute she was. I do not know if every town does this or not but Chester has a town trick or treat night which I thought was kind of weird because when I was little trick or treating was always done on Halloween no matter what day it was on and you went until you got tired and went home. Now in Chester they have it on a certain night depending on when Halloween is and it was from 5-9 it was definately different being on a type of schedule for trick or treating. Also last weekend I went to the darkness and creepyworld in St. Louis and had a lot of fun. We went in a little drunk so that made it that much better. I liked creepyworld better because it was longer I think. I thought they werer worth the money though. And I guess that wraps up the fun Halloween stuff now we just get that nasty cold weather that I hate!

On the mommy frontier...

Isn't it amazing how easy it is to talk about your kids at any given time? Well unfortunately my little girl is sick this week. She came home from her dads on Sunday and she had the fever and runny nose, all the parents out there know how much fun the runny nose is. She was of course very crabby and needed a lot of attention and I could not get anything done all day. I can not make up my mind if she is sick or just teething however. She is only about 18 months old so she could definately be teething, she has the clear runny nose like she is teething and the fever and crabbyness could also be linked to the teething, she is drooling like crazy as if she is teething and you can see the whitness of a tooth trying to come in on the bottom so I am thinking now that she is sick along with the teething. She cried most of the night and not a normal cry you could tell something was hurting her and she seemed to calm down after I put the orajel on. So I gave her some children's advil for the fever and laid with her until she fell asleep. I am going to give her a day or two and see how she is doing and if she is still sick I will probably end up taking her to the doctor to hopefully get her some medicine to help her feel better. Sound more like teething or sick? Anyone care to share an opinion?

Lying...

First of all you should never lie to a girl because you will get caught unless you are lying to one of those girls that completely refuse to believe that their boyfriend would lie to them. I am not one of those girls. If you lie to me I WILL catch you and make you regret it. The littlest simplest sign got him caught in a lie and he continued to try to lie to me. Now, second of all you do not lie to someone that you "love". Lying will get you no where but in trouble. You know what they say, if you tell one lie you have to tell another to cover that one and then another to cover that one. Well he did not get the chance because he got caught in the first one. Well trust has to be earned and as if that is not hard enough to do it is even harder to regain someones trust. Well with me trust is all you get and once you loose that you are done. Yes I do have trust issues but that is all the more reason that you should really think about everything before you decide to lie to me. Lying no matter how big or small is always a bad thing to do in any relationship and is only going to create problems. You get one chance to come clean and you should use that chance to do so because it is only going to be ten times worse if you get caught lying.

A little bit of randomness

Ok so not to long ago I was complaining about not liking this time of year but it is not bad yet it is still enjoyable. Over the weekend a bunch of people I have not seen in a while got together and went mudding all night long the weather was perfect for it when you are going through the mud you are not hot in the truck and when you have to stop and let the trucks cool off it is not freezing while we stand around and drink our beverages. Perfect mudding and drinking weather. Soon it will be time for bonfire drinking. The weekend after next a bunch of us are going to the big haunted houses in St. Louis and I can not wait. I have never been to them but have wanted to for several years now. I am hoping that they are all that I am expecting them to be. The website says they have all been completely revovated and remodeled to be scarier than ever so here's hoping! Also this week we are going to get a Halloween costume for the little one and I am SO excited I have been lookin forward to that for a while I am not really sure what about it excites me so much but I can't wait to figure out what she is going to be.

The zoo

I took my daughter to the zoo in May for her birthday it was my first time to the zoo since I was in grade school. I had a lot of fun and we had good weather it was a good day but my daughter was still kinda little and did not really get much out of the animals. She really seemed to like the prarie dogs bc they were really close and they were playing together like little puppies. But we decided to take her back before the weather got cold just for something to do together. She was so different this time she enjoyed a lot more of the aniamals and reacted to a lot more things. She really liked the reptile house this time im not a big fan of reptiles but she seemed to really enjoy them. We had a perfect day for it and had a really great time. The zoo is a great place to take little ones because they enjoy the animals and if you go during school there are small crowds because the only people there are the ones that have little kids not old enough for school yet. We had a great time and I cant wait to take her again next year.

That time of year again...

Everyone keeps talking about how they just love this time of year the weather is changing and this and that. I'm sorry but I hate this time of year. Yes the weather is great right now, when it is not raining, but that does not last very long at all and then winter is here and it is freezing. It has been cold and raining the past few days and it just brings me down because it seems like we are going to skip fall weather and head straight into the cold weather. I hear it is supposed to be really nice the next few days and in the 70's that is great you can do all kinds of things in that weather I just wish it would last longer and then skip over winter and head into spring and summer again. This weather is, however, great for mudding and that happens to be one of my favorite things to do. You see I hang out with all those guys that drive around in the big jacked up trucks with super swamper tires and loud exaust that wakes you up when we drive past your house at two in the morning from a long drunken, muddy night. Yea great times, looking forward to it. This weather is better for it beccause you can go longer and when the truck gets hot it is cool outside that late at night and the temp inside the truck is just right if you crack a window. So for right now we can enjoy the weather but soon it will be time for bundling up in big coats and warm clothes which means you have to bundle little ones the same which means the carseat is uncomfortable and uneasy to move in, that means a crabby baby for car rides. I hate the cold weather!

sweet victory

They say violence never solves anything but after this last weekend I beg to differ. I think it solved quite a bit for me. A certain person who shall remain nameless received the beat down she deserved. This person makes my blood boil everytime I see her and causes me a lot of anger. I always have the strong urge to hit her everytime I see her and I think that will change now that I have had the satisfaction of hitting her several times. I believe I preformed a public service because multiple people had asked me all night to do this and I declined several times until the after party. Even the owner of the house thanked me. The reason I believe it was a public service is because so many people wanted it done or wanted to it themselves and I just took one for the team. People that witnessed it said they think she has learned her lesson and maybe she will stop running her mouth acting tough. So in this case I think that violence solved a great deal. It made a lot of people happy and it hopefully got one person to stop running her mouth about everyone just because she thinks that she can get away with it. I do however agree that violence usually does not solve much but like all things there are always exceptions.

Parenthood

This last week was one of the most dificult I have experienced as a parent. Much to my suprise soon after I had my daughter I found that motherhood came very natual to me. I love being a mom and I was blessed with a very good baby. She really makes being a mom easy. But this last week a lot of things happened and I realized that when there are children involved any decision you make affects so many lives. Children touch so many peoples lives and they are so easy to love making it easy for people to become attached. A word of advice to those considering having children some day; do not have kids until you are ready to make someone else number one. You are no longer number one after having a child, they are your first thought anytime you consider making a change in your life. You have to be completelty selfless and do what is right for the child and that can sometimes be really hard. What you want and what is right can sometimes be completely different things. Now when I have to make a decision it is going to affect not only mine and my daughters lives but the lives of everyone close to her. No matter which decision I make for us there are going to be a lot of people involved and some will end up hurt. I feel like all of this is going to happen because of the decisions I have made in life.

Just a little about me

Hey everyone my name is Crystal Harris I'm going to be blogging here for english 101. I am going to school for healthcare information technology. I also work full time and have a 15 month old baby girl. Her name is Hailey and she is absolutely the center of my life. She is my motivation for going back to school and my rock when I need cheering up she is all I need. I work at Reid's Harvest House in Chester, it sucks and that is another reason why I am going back to school. Everything has been really crazy ever since I found out I was pregnant with Hailey and they are even more so since I have decided to go back to school. So right now I am just trying to figure out my life and where it is going from here. I have realized that my decisions and my choices affect not only my life anymore but also my daughter's life so I am trying to make better ones and I think that choosing to go back to school is a step in the right direction. I have a lot going on right now but I am sure I will find the right balance and things will calm down a little.